It is once again past 2AM and I am very tired. I just spent an hour and a half on a blog post only to find out I was logged out when I went to save. I'll be using Word for future drafts and will have to complete what I intended to do tonight next week. Hopefully I'll get a chance to work on it during the week. The lost work is especially disheartening because I am starting to feel a growing disconnect from other people and it is weighing on me. People are so eager to get back to normal or give up. I don't think we're returning to normal and there is so much work to be done. It is very hard to have conversations about it. 

There are so many systems and flaws that have been exposed in our society. I am most surprised by the complete ineptitude of corporations to use their significant influence and resources to improve outcomes or plan better for the future. Do people that strongly support capitalism to solve all of society's problems not realize what has happened? Why has it happened? Is it a structural failure, driven by incompetence, over-whelmed executives struggling to gather information that they weren't prepared for or from over-politicization at senior levels? Even if you ignore the personal costs to their employees and customers they have still failed from a purely economic standpoint.

Secondarily are the failings of state/local governments on both sides of the political spectrum. There are no winners here. Just a bunch of losers. Do shades of gray matter when no one is happy? Do inept governments have any chance of realizing there better potential for addressing these types of problems when they can't execute and exhibit the same character flaws? The clear politicization of the WHO is another problem that will need to be addressed later. Why aren't informal governance systems like PTOs emerging to address issues?

The scope of talking about this is so large. I don't think I can fully tackle the big picture quite yet. I certainly don't have answers. Next week I will just focus on the facts and putting together a contemporaneous account of what I see. TBD where I go from there. I too would like to move on from Covid-19. I suspect I won't be able to.

It is 2:01 AM and my Oura is telling me it is my bedtime. I am very tired despite having taken two days off work ahead of the weekend and today is Saturday. Does time off even help when there is little rest and no way to get away from it all? I took a nap today and really needed it because my back hurt a lot. That rest at least allowed my to complete my nightly 2.5 mile walk and struggle through some light weight lifting tonight. There is no editing today. No word-smithing or drafts. This is just stream of consciousness to get the work started.

I had hoped to get a better start on this. That will have to wait. I still hope to produce posts weekly in the future. I have lots of ideas. Here is where I am thinking of going with upcoming posts:

1) Just because someone that disagrees with you is wrong, doesn't make you right. Very relevant with the pandemic around us and everyone seemingly an armchair expert. This toxic thinking is pervasive right now.

2) The PTO mom who didn't want to fund the school board and the direct line from there to where we are today.

3) Who I am donating to now and why.

4) A eulogy for Anneliese Betz. A wonderful woman who had a profound impact on my life despite not having any blood relation.

5) Reading update with reflection on books I've read recently. This should be a regular occurrence.

We'll see where this goes.